Museum Day

A couple times a month I plan museum days with the kids. Our library has a wonderful museum pass program, that allows free entry into certain museums in our area. Each museum has a different deal with the library but the library's rule is that you can visit each museum once a month. Which is perfect, we had a family membership to the children's museum and I don't think we ever went more than once a month. 

Usually every morning we have something to do, whether it is my daughter's gymnastics or I have a session with a personal trainer. So we do whatever we have to do that morning and then I pack us up to go to the museum. I will usually pack a lunch and snacks as well so we don't have to wait till they are finished eating to go. Each museum has their own food policy but the ones we go to it is fine to bring in outside food. As soon as we get there we sit down and have lunch then we go play for the rest of the day. The way it normally works out the kids get 4 hours of play before the museum closes which is more than enough time to tire then out. 

The library is a great resource for families, especially families on a budget. I will post more things to look for at your library in the future. But for now go check out yours and see what they have to offer you.

Health Insurance

When I was working we used the health insurance my company provided, because it was a non-profit and the pay is poor they tend to "make it up" by providing good health insurance. With my first pregnancy we didn't pay anything, all the visits, the extra visits for my medical problems and then the hospital... Nothing! All the well baby check ups and sick check ups, nothing other then the copay. When we moved and I became a stay-at-home mom we had to take my husband's company's medical insurance, which is just horrible. His company paid for the first $1,500 of the $3,000 deductible, then once we hit the $3,000 we were responsible for 20% of all the bills until we reached $6,000 out of pocket! Ouch. My second pregnancy we wound up doing just that paying $6,000 out of pocket by the end of the year. Since it was a different doctor, my extra care was done at the hospital instead of a doctors office so that brought up the costs of things. With my first doctors they would have just had me do a test in their office, with my second doctor the minute something was slightly wrong she would send me straight to the maternity ward of the hospital. This year I was counting on it being easier financially on us, provided the kids stayed healthy. Which for the most part it was, a couple runs to the doctor in the beginning of the year then up until December just well baby checkups. For over 3 weeks both kids were sick and we made about 6 trips to the doctor. Just after Christmas I got a huge bill for blood work I had done in the beginning of the month. So I know we've got a bunch more bills coming. 

I find myself debating between taking my child to the doctor and worrying about the end cost of it. That is a horrible feeling. Do I take my baby who has a fever or my daughter who has been complaining that her knee hurts (she says knee but she points to her knee or ankle at different times, plus there hasn't been any trauma to it) or do I hold off and see if they work through it? I shouldn't have to feel that way. If my child is sick or in pain, my first thought should be how soon can I get them in, not is this really worth the possible cost. Then when I make the decision that it isn't really dire to go to the doctor, the little voice in the back of my mind is going you are being a bad mom, what if this is something more. Where is the support for families like us, the ones in the middle? If we made less money we could go on medicare and have everything covered. But my pride wouldn't allow me to take a handout like that and that would mean our kids would miss out on a lot more things. If we had better jobs, we'd have better health insurance options and/or the money wouldn't be the concern. 

Weight Loss

Thinking about losing some weight? Who isn't? Whether it is baby weight or just pounds packed on over the years, the best time to make that change is now not tomorrow. Almost a year ago I decided to make a life change, not a New Years Resolution. My change was that I wanted to be healthy, feel comfortable in my body, be around for a long time for my kids, and have the energy to be the outgoing mom my kids deserve.
When I was 22 my father died from a heart attack. He has missed so much of my life in the past 6... 7 years. I do NOT want my kids to not have me around for major times in their lives. During both my pregnancies I was borderline gestational diabetic, if you have gestational diabetes you are very likely do develop diabetes within 5 years. I would have had diabetes by the time I was 31, that is scary. Having to prick my finger 3-4 times a day plus miss out on food I enjoyed, not what I wanted.
So a year ago I made the decision to order Nutrisystem, this would be the very first time in my life that I would choose to diet and lose weight. In high school my mother forced me to do several fad diets/ diet pills. It never worked, mostly because I didn't stick with it and they were fad diets. Because of that I resisted doing anything relating to my weight, which also consisted of going to the doctor for annual checkups because I didn't want to hear it from the doctor that I was unhealthy.
January 16th 2013 was my very first day doing the Nutrisystem program. I weighed in at 258.2 pounds, I was wearing size 24/26 pants. In February I started working out with a group of women I met through the Nutrisystem online community. We started with Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. After we finished that we did Jillian Michaels 90 day Body Revolution. Midway through April I was down 25 pounds, by middle of July I was down 40 pounds. I struggled at times but I have never regained the weight. Each time you lose 10 pounds Nutrisystem sends you this cute little bear, that become very special to you, by October I received my 50 pound Nutribear. At the end of October I joined a gym and go 5 times a week. Then in November I started working out with a trainer 1-2 times a week. Right now I am working on getting my 70 pound Nutribear. As of this morning I weighed in at 194.8 and am wearing a size 14 jean (not comfy pants). This year I plan on reaching my goal weight and body fat percentage, 135/20-25%. It is taking some time but this isn't a resolution it is a life change. I have learned so much from this life change and so much about me has changed. I am doing more with my children, not tired nearly as much, happier, I find ways to show off my body not hide it.
Why am I sharing this? So that you know anyone can do it. Whatever program you are thinking of doing, stop thinking and start doing. I knew nothing about nutrition and working out, I still have a lot to learn but now I am able to give my kids a better start. I don't want them to EVER have to worry about their weight and health. I want health and exercise to just be a part of their lives. Eat well rounded meals, save treats for special occasions, and to be active daily. It is cute because when I do workout DVDs at home they will try to do things with me (ages 1 and 3).
Ok so a program like Nutrisystem may sound expensive... It can be, however I some secrets to share with you...
1. If you sign up for the automatic delivery, each month you have an order process the cost goes down by about $10. This is for the first 5 months. So my very first order was about $250, I chose the cheapest plan. Then after the 5 months it was down to $203.
2. Some health insurance companies offer discounts on diet programs. No need to call up your insurance provider and sit on hold for an hour either. Call the customer service for the diet program and ask them. I get a 12% discount with Nutrisystem and all I had to do was tell the customer service agent what insurance company I had, 5 minute phone call. This brought my plan down to $190
3. Nutrisystem has a click program. Everyday an article, with very useful information, is posted on their website. You go read it and then click on a box/picture on the side of the page. 50 clicks (days) gets a $10 off coupon. Check with whatever plan you decide to use for little perks like this one.
4. Costco gift cards, this might be one for Nutrisystem only but it's worth a shot if you are trying something else. Costco sells Nutrisystem $100 gift cards for $80 normally, then every once in a while has a sale on them for either $60 or $50. If you buy a bunch of cards when they are $50 you are then only paying for half the cost of an entire month of food! I am paying $95 a month for food, 3 meals and 1 snack a day! Even if you don't have a costco membership you can still get these wonderful gift cards, they just add a couple dollars to each card you buy.
5. Lastly My programs will have refer a friend deals. If you get a friend to sign up you will get a one time coupon. Nutrisystem will give the referrer and the referee $30 off. If anyone reading this is interested in signing up feel free to send me your email address and I will send you a $30 off coupon.

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Who Would Have Thought...

Normally afternoons can be very stressful. I run around getting the kids fed, then I can up the mess of toys they made in the morning by the time I am done with that I have to clean up the baby because he always finishes first. Then I start putting him to sleep, he's usually not to bad to get to sleep (except when he's sick or teething). While I'm getting him down my daughter finishes up, so I have to one handed clean her up get a pull up on her and get her to lay down and close her eyes. By that point little man is out cold so I can put him down and work on her which is usually a struggle to get her to stop fooling around. Once she is asleep if I am lucky the little guy will sleep a little longer, I'll get to finally eat my lunch and snack. Normally he wakes not long after she goes down so it's on to playing with him or keeping him out of trouble. So I am not very productive, no getting dishes done or any chores and forget trying to write in my blog or keep up with other things. Yesterday at my daughter 3 year old big girl check up, the doctor suggested cutting her naps, might help her sleep better at night. I looked at hubby and think oh great I lost my "break" time. After the appointment him and I talked and figured it might work out, I could use that time as her quiet time. She is gonna get a leap pad for Christmas and the one thing that worried me is the amount of time she's gonna want to use it. If she learns right from the start that quiet time is for that, not only is she getting to use her toy without her brother interrupting her but there's a limit. Once he wakes up it goes away. Since she doesn't have the leap pad yet, I set her up with the ipad and her abc mouse app told her it was quiet time. That the TV would be off and she had to let her brother sleep. After she finished her lunch she sat very nicely on the couch and played on the ipad. Guess what I was able to do?!?! Shower! Alone! It was a hot shower and not rushed in anyway! I shaved too! Who knew letting her stay awake would relieve the stress and give me time to shower and now write???? I want to go give the doctor a big hug! The rest of the afternoon is gonna be a little nuts, we have to stop at the outlets and exchange boots she got for her birthday (too small), go to the craft store (we are gonna pick out a craft to make daddy for Christmas), and then take her to dance. But I couldn't be any happier that I'm starting it all in a much more relaxed state than I would if I had fought with her to nap.

How Rude!

On monday I made plans with my half brother's half sister, so my sister from another mother and father, to meet up around 5pm today and we loosely agreed to meet at Chuck E. Cheese. Last night she commented on a picture I posted on facebook and asked if we were still on for today. I responded about 20 minutes later telling her that we were and I asked her where exactly we would meet up. She never responded so today around 11:30 I sent her a text message asking if we were still getting together and if Chuck E. Cheese was still a good place to meet up and which one exactly does she go to. I went about my day planning on going out around 4-4:30. I never heard back from her so 3:45 I sent another text basically saying the same thing as the first one. 

I am on nutrisystem and one of the lunches I have is a bar, so I decided today I would have a dinner for lunch and bring a bar for dinner so it would be easier to stick to my plan. I decided not to go out before lunch with the kids to the library like I had originally planned. Two outings in one day can be stressful and could make for some cranky children while out the second time. I told my daughter where we were going and she was very excited for Cheese (it's her favorite food right now) 

Finally around 4:45 I get a text message from her:

Hey hunni! Omgoodness! I've been at my bosses house all day with the baby. We are all very close so they wanted a day with her. I'm so sorry first time I checked my phone all day. If we do meet up its going to be a little while we are out and I have to go home and feed my son and get things situated.

I responded saying it's ok we will do it another time. In the past I would have been like oh that's totally fine let me know when you would be able to make it, would you just want us to come to your place instead to make it easier on you. Not anymore. This is bull, she was the one that messaged me last night on facebook to remind me. She cannot tell me that did not go on facebook or look at her phone between last night and today at 4:45?!?!? Plus she went over to her bosses for the baby to spend the day with them and she didn't pull her phone out to take a picture once? I'm so sick of being walked all over, I am worth more than an afterthought.
I feel like people these days are too connected, and are too accessible. When I was younger if a friend needed to get a hold of me they passed me a note in the hallway between classes or called my house and asked my mother for me to call them back and the response was never immediate. It wasn't practical nor should it be. I don't need to be accessed 24/7, I need time for myself and for my family. So I understand not always responding to people right away because it isn't always the right time. I can't stand when my mother sends me a message and I don't get back to her right away she resends the exact same message as if I never got it the first time. However when it comes to having plans with someone and things changing I always respond right away.  
And I know if someone did that to her she would blow up facebook about it. And she still hasn't said anything back.

Every year my sister in law and her husband change their facebook pictures around my niece's birthday to a picture of my niece right after being pulled out of the uterus. It is one of those borderline pictures, is this ok or not to put up on facebook. To me it's not something I would do, let alone do it every year. Put up a current picture, that's what I do. The other really weird thing is the same picture is blown up and made into one of those expensive really big canvass pictures hanging in their living room. Not exactly what I want to see when I look into the living room from the dining room as I am eating pizza.

Intro

I recently started writing a blog about my life growing up and the struggles I had. It has been a great form of therapy for me but I have been finding it hard to write everyday about the tough stuff and find that there are other things I would love to also write about that are going on on a daily basis. So I decided to start this separate blog. I know another blog about being a mom, I am not going to sit here and say I am offering a new look or way or expertise on how to raise children and it will not always be about raising children. I am just here giving my view of the parenting I go through.
For example, the other day my 2 year old daughter was laying on top of her Cinderella doll making out with her. Some parents may react and think oh crap my child is making out with a same sex doll. Some parents may say what the hell is she watching that is giving her these ideas. My reaction was, it is interesting that she is picking up that passion from something she has seen on TV and she is so young. It made me re-evalute my relationship with my husband. We don't have this crazy passion for each other, not because we don't love each other but between the crazy hours we worked (back when I was working) and now having two very young children we are both tired and just go through the motions of the day. I decided to talk to my husband about it and we both thought we should be more affectionate towards each other because our children should see that growing up. They should learn how to love through seeing our love for each other. Neither my husband nor myself ever really saw that affection with our parent's relationships, which is probably why it was so easy to let our initial puppy love spark die out.
I have noticed in the past couple days that our daughter has been more lovey than usual. She was always huggy and kissy but now she runs over and joins our hug and looks for our kisses. It is a great change and I wish we had started it earlier.
Just a little background, I am a mother of two, daughter who is 2 and son who is 6 months. I have a BA in psychology. I have worked with children for many years in jobs ranging from teaching, to childcare, to residential treatment centers, to being a family support worker with a national program for new parents. I have a very good understanding of child development and have quite a number of practical tricks up my sleeve when it comes to difficulties of being a parent. However I am new to being a parent so this is still all a learning experience for me. My husband and I got married in 2009 with only a couple friends present, our families still do not know we are married. He had no experience with children until our daughter was born. After I had my daughter I returned to work, which was not easy. Just before her first birthday we decided to move about 4 hours away to live with my mother and save money so we could someday buy a house of our own. Shortly after we moved I got pregnant with my son and I knew trying to get a job in my field would be difficult especially having to leave for maternity leave 8 months after starting. We decided me staying home till after our son arrived was best. My son came in October and we planned on me looking for work after the holidays were over. Then the Newtown shooting happened, I sat on my couch holding both kids all day crying. How could I put them in someone else's care now?!?! Not only that but trying to find a job where I would be making enough to cover their daycare and make more to save was impossible, non-profit pay sucks. Then we did our taxes... Definitely more beneficial for me to remain at home for now. I miss the work I did and helping people, I also miss the adult interaction but I love having this time with my kids. There are definitely some difficult days but the good 10 times over out weigh the bad.